1. The Withdrawal

– I don’t care, order what you want. I am not hungry…. Why did you order this? You know I hate it. You don’t know me at all?
– The only thing that feels better than lying on the bed is hiding under it
– Why am I wearing a full sleeve jacket on top of my sleeveless dress? Uh……… New Style!
– Just like the ugly duckling nobody gets me 🙁

2. The Clinginess

– You said you will call me in 10 mins
– Why did you put my blanket for wash! I can’t sleep without it
– Where are my cats!!! Cant find even one of them when I need them 🙁

3. Whatever #@#$##$@$*

– What’s that smell? Eh it’s just me
– What’s that sound? Eh they will go away after some time if I don’t open the door
– Why is there smoke in my room? Oh god I left the food cooking on the stove and fell asleep

4. “”Anxiety””

– I am pretty sure that mole looks bigger than it did before
– I know she is playing and eating just fine but I am sure something is off with my cat. Maybe I shouldn’t have given her that extra piece of chicken.
– There was a Tsunami!!! I had a dream with a Tsunami couple of days back….. Maybe I should have shared it… Don’t know with whom but it would have saved some lives for sure!

5. Need for change!!!!!!!!

– Maybe I should buy a new laptop
– Maybe I need to change my job
– Maybe shift to another city

6. Why are things changing so fast!

– Seeing childhood photos… why have I changed so much (wailing like a baby!)
– They are shifting to another city!!! Why????
– She is quitting!!! What will I do without her?!!?!!

7. Need for a break!!!

– Maybe I need a vacation! ….. So much to plan! … Maybe I will just sleep it out on my couch seeing my favorite serials.
– What the serial is already over! Uh what happened?! Could you rewind it a bit…a bit more……… like from the start..
– I watched friends, Full House and all my favourite serials and still don’t feel good.

8. Hobbies?

– What did I do this Saturday?…. Nothing much… Slept
– What did I do this Sunday?…. Nothing much… Slept
– What will I do after reaching home from office? … Don’t know feeling tired.. Probably… Sleep
– I love painting, singing, writing, cooking,………. but as of now I don’t have time for anything

9. Grocery list..

– Chips
– Chocolate
– Ice cream

10. WhatsApp messages XOXO

Friend’s message: I went with ……………………………… ……………………………………… ……………………………………………… ………………………………… ………………………………… ………………………………………………………… …………………………… So what do you think?

Your response: k

On hindsight the things I feel when I go through depression, bring a smile to my face and make me wonder as to why I let myself be overwhelmed by my fears and anxiety to that extent. But when I do go through depression, the anxiety, the fears, the guilt and the pain, completely take over me. This lighthearted take off the conflicting, roller coaster of emotions I go through during depression is a small reminder to myself that even though waves, which some time seem like a tsunami or a rough sea during storm, start breaking, it is an indication that the shore is close by….. Just keep swimming!!

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