It’s Ironic, but this has been the most difficult post to write. Why did I start to write this blog in the first place, when I haven’t been an avid reader and multiple attempts to maintain a dairy in my childhood have failed after few weeks? Well there are a few reasons why I started writing this blog.
One – Deplete My Thoughts, Increase My Awareness:
I have always found it difficult to express myself. The problem is I think faster than I can talk or write and when I start talking or writing my mind becomes empty of thoughts. I used to hate this empty feeling so much, that my biggest fear was getting amnesia. But over the years I have come to realize that emptying my thoughts, helps me focus more on the present. Rather than worrying about the future or delving into my past, by being in the present has made me take in so much more of life and this has left me feeling more complete than my over flowing thoughts ever had. And so I started writing down my random thoughts.
Two – Adventuring Outside My Comfort Zone:
After getting fed up waiting for a letter from Hogwarts, or for some magical super power to suddenly surface in me, or an adventure to come knocking at my doors, I finally decided to take reigns into my own hands and start my own adventure by pushing myself outside of my comfort zone and to put myself out there. So after years of obsessing with the fantasy worlds of Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Star Trek, just to name a few, this blog is my attempt in trying to cope with the realities of life and maybe unleash the true power hiding somewhere deep inside of me 🙂
And so I decided to start my own blog. Bought a domain name and then………… got busy with work.
After 2 years of working in Social Media and Advertising, again the frustration started hitting me. I was helping brands tell their Story while my own was getting lost somewhere within myself. Once again the blogging itch started.
For months I kept postponing, giving work as a reason. In reality I was extremely nervous. I started getting Panic attacks and kept falling sick with coughs that lasted for weeks. Just as I recovered, within weeks it would start all over again. All this brought about more fear. Fear of having TB or worse Cancer. And that brings me to the third and final reason that pushed me to finally start it.
Three – Don’t want To Die With Regrets Of Not Putting Myself Out There:
I was just reading through a few blogs and one day I came across this photographer who blogged about the various places he had visited. I loved his blog so much that I decided to follow him. Just before I clicked the follow button, something in me wanted to check his “About Me” section and that’s when I found it……. A message from his family about his passing away. I just froze for a few minutes. It’s weird how when you read a blog, it takes you into a person’s life so closely in a few minutes that when you find out they have died, it feels like you have lost a friend you have known for ages….
When my brain was back, the first thought I had was, ‘I don’t want to die someday regretting not having put myself out there because I was scared of what other people would think of me.’ Yes there are people who can write a thousand times better than me. But this was not about the quality of writing. This was about me sharing my struggles, achievements and small observations about my life. This was about discovering myself more by imposing a discipline to write every week. This was about getting more clarity by organizing my thoughts. This was about pushing myself to come out of my introverted shell. This was about marketing myself and expanding my friend circle. Fear of death was nothing but in reality, the fear of living my life to the fullest by rising above my limitations. Staying within my shell was no longer an option……And thus FINALLY started writing my blog!
Where do I see my Blog in a few years:
Well my expectations are very cliched:
- Bring a Tear or Smile to someone (Hopefully Thousands and Millions of someone 😉 )
- Collect my thoughts in this blog and hopefully one day publish my own book with all my posts.
- Start my own E-Commerce site (Don’t know what I want to sell yet. But hopefully someday some inspiration will strike)
After 2 months of slowly building my blog, my panic attacks have stopped, my passion & focus for work is back. I have started looking for a story in every place I can find, for everybody/ everything has their/ it’s own story to tell and this has forced me to engage other people and observe things more closely. And lastly, it makes me feel lighter – like the weight of carrying myself has been finally released which in turn has made me more spontaneous.