I often look back in time and contemplate various moments—not necessarily regretting them, but wishing I had acted differently. I no longer feel guilty, but I do replay these scenarios in my mind, wondering if I could have handled them differently. Would the outcome have changed? Perhaps not.
My child hood friend, with whom I spent my evenings, chatting up on the terrace….. bitching about our day…. Even before we knew the meaning of bitching.. This is how most of our school/college days went by. Then we just drifted apart… Just got busy with our own lives.
Years later, I received an invitation to her wedding. Part of me thrilled, while another part felt sad for not being there during her crush and sharing her engagement excitement. We awkwardly and shyly met at her wedding. A poem I wrote for her.. lost in a pile of wedding gifts, symbolising how we had lost touch with each other in our own lives.
Back then, before the time of mobiles… the only way to reach her was to pick up the phone and call her place. But I didn’t.. Didn’t have her new number! Finally messaged her on Facebook and waited…waited patiently. She never responded, and I thought she was mad at me… Only to find a month later that she was diagnosed with cancer and she didn’t have much time left!
When I look back, I could have reached out to her so many times, just picked up that phone, but anxiety numbed me, which then turned into guilt. While anxiety is painful, it beats the worst emotion.. GUILT! Just picking up the phone can solve so many issues in life.
Do you have any issues that can be resolved by making that one call?